Hall - Assignment 21

 A large challenge that I have had to face is representation.

And I know, I know, I sound like a broken record with my "ahhh I'm black and I'm a girl and I'm so oppressed," but it's literally something I face every day. I can't ignore it or move on just because I don't want to talk about it.

When I say "representation," I mean in the sense of never being able to see myself in toys, movies, classrooms, careers. Kindergarten through third grade I was one of three black people in my grade. Fourth through fifth I was one of two. Sixth through eighth grade I was one of one. Ninth through eleventh, I've been one of two. And it high key sucks.

Growing up, I didn't see very many black main characters. A multitude of black sidekicks and supporting characters, most definitely. I look for someone who looks like me, and I see that nothing truly revolves around them. Their only purpose is to aid the protagonist. I internalized that. 

Black Barbie dolls? Hardly. And when I would miraculously stumble upon one? Pin straight hair. So I straightened my hair, because that's the definition of beauty, right?

The first, and only, black Disney princess? She spent the majority of the movie as a frog. It wasn't truly about her culture, or about her being black, or about her being a black woman. It was just an excuse to be set in a bayou with pretty music and thick accents. So what does that mean for me? And my culture?

As I grow older, and I start to see women, black people, and black women begin to take a more center role on a more center stage, I am beyond moved to see that younger generations will have these idols to look up to that I didn't. As an actress, I am beyond motivated to become a role model for these younger generations. I want someone to see me and think "I can do that too." I am working to overcome the challenge of representation.

I am determined to be the role model that I should have had.